Copyrighted 2012 by Melinda Jane Kellogg;  All Rights Reserved

  4 Responses to “Degrees”

  1. Melinda, you’re so awesome! From Denny’s waitress swing shift to this? This is a miracle! You must be a genius with a very high IQ. Men like Jeff are intimidated and frightened of you wanting a conquest for sure. You should recognize this and protect yourself in the future. I don’t understand why you gave way your personal power to Jeff Rense so quick and easy after all that hard work I just don’t understand how you could have done that. Even selling your car?

    Sometimes school doesn’t teach common sense. Few women would sell the house, car and lifestyle to marry someone so quick and easy. Life doesn’t work that way and it was a lesson to be learned. Love takes time, years to really develop. I would dare to say you spent so much time inside your mind you didn’t realize the dangers posed in the real world.

    • Thank you Cheryl.

      I was 47 years old and very overworked and there was no time for dating. I wanted to be married. I had never met a man like Jeff who would lie so extensively and completely, so I believed him. We seemed to have so much in common, and our hopes for the future meshed perfectly.

      I figured since we were two mature people, who knew what we wanted, then we should go ahead and do it! I had also listened to Jeff for a few years, and felt that I knew him and believed he was a good man.

      I think the lesson I wish I had learned is that a “fairytale romance” is actually a big red flag. I found out later from reading books on abusive men, that this is very typical. They will give you the romance of a lifetime! But the moment they “have you,” the charm disappears and you find yourself with a very cruel man.

      I was married before, to a non-abusive man (see First Marriage), and had some relationships that were non-abusive. But I did indeed work quite a lot, and perhaps was more naive than other women.

      About the car, I had planned to drive it cross-country. Jeff pushed very hard for me to sell the car and he would fly me out. I eventually relented, as it was winter and I would have to cross the Rocky Mountains and I would have 3 cats in the car with me.

      • The first thing I’d do if I were you is start writing a book about your experiences with Jeff. You could make a lot of money selling the story and it could also be bought for rights to a movie. I’d not give out any more juicy details of your experiences at this point to maintain rights. I’d also make sure to copyright all of the materials on your website ASAP so someone can’t take your material and publish it.

        That is your stepping stone out of your financial situation and likely you will find a new man. I really idealized Jeff Rense a lot to, he has a wonderful soothing persona, voice and intelligent mind. It’s clear he also has a dark side that’s totally out of control likely due to years of his spending time with the wrong women as well as neglecting to take care of himself due to his radio program’s needs. What he needs is someone to pay to take care of him, like a live in assistant or something he tried to turn you into. In my 20’s I saw ads like this from men all of the time looking for a live-in in exchange for rent, men look for relationships this way sometimes.

        Please find someone to help you with a book so you can get it to market asap. I’d buy it and I’m sure many others would as well. It’s always very interesting to learn about a Jekyll Hyde personality. Jeff should retire his serial abuse of women and get one of those blow up dolls or something, then hire an administrative assistant.

        The San Francisco area is the place for you. Men are looking for good women like you out here. Hope you can break free of the monster. Besides, he’s way too old for you.

  2. Melinda, I too, am deeply impressed by your incredible achievements, both in your personal life and in academia. What you have overcome and what you have accomplished is quite amazing! I feel that because you are who you are, you will be fine one day. You will heal and recover from the devastation caused by the narcissist and you will have a peaceful and fulfulling life once again. I think it’s inevitable.